kiss me, i'm irish! (no really, i am.)

i have for you a delightful recipe in honor of today's momentous occasion, which to some means the chasing of snakes out of ireland, and to others, another reason to ask for a pint of guinness, and if the bartender isn't quick enough, the right to shout "póg mo thóin" (or for us non-gaelic reading folk, "pogue mahone"). it is generally not nice however, to tell someone bringing you something, especially something you will then ingest, to kiss your ass, but i don't think st. patty's day has ever been about table manners, now has it.

speaking of that pint of guinness, which i hope will come to you without any ass-kissing of any sort, at my newest job i was asked to make a guinness cake, whose recipe i have written down in order to share with you, my darling followers. i am sure that this is available on the internet, in many forms, so just suffice it to say that this is not of my own invention, many thanks to the person who transcribed this version.

it is supposed to be a bit sunken in the middle-not so much a gaping crater in the center, but it is alright for the center to have fallen a bit. and when applying the topping, keep in mind, that it is just that- a TOPping. not an icing or a covering, just a topping. it is meant to only go on top so that it looks like a freshly pulled, you guessed it!, pint of guinness.

recipe after the jump!



ingredients (as written AND converted for ease, because i promise you, the metric system is SO MUCH EASIER):
      for the cake:

• 1 cup (250ml) guinness
• 10 tbsp (142g) butter
• 3/4 cup (64g) unsweetened cocoa
• 2 cups (200g) superfine sugar OR 2 cups (400g) granulated sugar*
• 3/4 cup (169g) sour cream
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• 2 cups (270g) all-purpose flour
• 2 1/2 tbsp baking soda

*if you don't have superfine sugar, substituting granulated sugar is a-ok.

     for the TOPping:

• 1 1/4 cup (125g) confectioner's sugar
• 8 oz (235g) cream cheese, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup (120g) heavy cream

     equipment you will need:

• oven
• stovetop
• 9 in springform pan
• parchment paper
• large saucepan (you will be putting a lot in here, so a teeny one won't do.)
• whisk
• small bowl
• wire rack (for cooling purposes)
• either: strong arms, or a mixer (stand or hand-held)

directions (with my own additions, from having made the cake):

1. take that cream cheese out of the refrigerator. get it to room temp (seriously, it's important) asap. it will be fine to let it sit out until you actually need to use it. i promise.
2. preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit. now, i was told to preheat it to 375, so this is going to have to be your point of trial and error. ovens have their own quirks, you need to figure out what is best for you and your equipment. but no lower than 350 mes chers.
3. butter a 9 inch springform and line it with parchment paper.
4. in a large saucepan, combine the guinness and the butter. place over medium/low heat until the butter melts, then remove from heat.
5. add the unsweetened cocoa and superfine sugar to the guinness/butter mixture, and whisk to blend. set aside.
6. in a small bowl, combine the sour cream, eggs, and vanilla extract. mix well.
7. add the sour cream/egg/vanilla mixture to the guinness mixture. mix to combine.
8. combine flour and baking soda. add to the guinness mixture (see i told you you needed a large saucepan!). whisk again until smooth.
9. pour the batter into the prepared pan, bake approximately 45m-60m. the cake should be risen and firm, and only a LITTLE sunk in the middle. if you check the cake at 45, 55, 65 minutes and it's still a lake in the middle of the cake, keep baking it! this is where you take charge. make sure you are not producing an unsafe product by actually baking it through-you don't have to hold onto these times with a death grip!
10. cool the cake in the pan, placed on a wire rack. 
11. for the topping, mix the sugar to prevent lumps.
12. add the cream cheese (which i really hope that you let sit this whole time, because getting the lumps out of cold cream cheese is SO hard) to the confectioner's sugar. blend and whip that mixture until it is smooth, either by hand or with a mixer. keep going until you are satisfied with the smoothness of your mixture, but keep in mind, chunks of cream cheese aren't pretty, and are noticeable in the final product.
13. once satisfied with the smoothness of your cream cheese and sugar, add the heavy cream to the mixture. mix until it is smooth/spreadable.
14. top that cooled cake with your frothy topping, and serve it up to your friends, family, or just take a fork and keep it to yourself!

enjoy!